Changes

I can be philosophical and say that the only thing constant is change...but I'm not going to do that. Change sucks. Change means going outside of my comfort zone, shaking up the familiar and being presented with the unknown. I'm not big on change. In fact I am a creature of routine, a person of habit who loves structure. I like my eggs sunny side up, I drive on the extreme left lane of the road, I love my threadbare pajamas at night and i love ordering the same things from the menu when i go out to eat. Change means making decisions which i am not familiar with. It means quick processing, thinking and action...all of which is too cut and dried for my artist's mind to absorb quickly.


I react like a spoilt child when it comes to change. I resist with all my might, i rant and rave and make the other person feel guilty and try all kinds of emotional blackmail techniques to revert to the old all familiar routine...but if even that fails...i sulk and sulk and make myself miserable with worry. Recently my most comfortable and familiar routine was shaken to the core.


Yogi and I have been the best of friends and colleagues for the past 10 years. We started off sharing work and then went on to become best of friends and then sharing our lives together. We make such a good team that everyone i know envies us...but recently he has made a really good career choice and has moved on to another job and will be moving to another city too. I tried to resist for my sake but seeing the opportunity present itself it was hard to say no. I had to give in although reluctantly. For the first time in a long long while i am on my own, making decisions, driving, eating and working all alone. But to be honest i don't like it one bit.

Independence be damned...I want my old routine back. its hard to let go. its harder still to go forward and not look back over the shoulder for the hundredth time! Its hard wishing for the time i cant have now. Maybe yogi and i will work together soon....but i miss turning to him every time asking him about his ideas or sharing design tips with him. Maybe distance will make the heart go fonder...maybe my dusty wings need some polish....

Maybe this change will be the best thing that has happened to both of us, only time will tell, but in the meanwhile i miss the old and the familiar. I miss my best friend.