the broken limb part2

How much we underestimate mobility. I have spent a considerable amount of the year gone by complaining about my hectic schedule, my hatred of driving and my crazy life. The past 24 days changed all that. Never again will I take my ankle for granted. Its the essence that keeps my feet on the ground. Never again will I long to lounge in bed doing nothing....its not what its cut out to be. besides how many days of doing nothing can a person take. Never will I take lightly the simple mundane activities like stretching, brushing my teeth, turning to one side and taking a bath. A broke limb changes all that.
Its hard to sit in bed with the leg elevated on pillows. Its hard on the back, on the tailbone and on the other leg too that has the ample cushioning. Its hard to hobble on a walker..i feel 80 years old. It hard on the wrist and the palms too and i have never had such sore palms before.
Bathing is an event in itself and probably the most uncomfortable part of my day..not because of the pain or anything but because my mommy has to bathe this amazon of a woman. I leave all semblances of normality out of the door when I step into the bath..its too embarrassing to go into the details but its a humbling experience in itself.
Its hard to be dependent on another person for just about everything. I cannot close a window, get myself a glass of water, or even dress myself without help. If my phone rings and it is more than an arm length away, i cannot reach it. if my daughter wants something i cannot get it..its frustrating to say the least. My patience is wearing thin and my breaking point gets shorter with each passing day.
My plans went all akimbo with my fall. My busy bursting life is reduced to a small radius of the bathroom, bedroom and the living room. I made plenty new discoveries in these 24 days too like its easy to slide than hop on the walker. That i can brush my teeth under 3 mins flat, and that i can be wearing my shorts and have oiled hair when people come to visit me. I can survive without my makeup and my skin has lost its tan and is a shade or two lighter with all this indoor exposure and that i have gone through the entire month without once using my credit card. hooray!
It has been a time to rediscover my real friends. They have called me, sat with me when i was so lonely in the hospital room, brought me lovely books and flowers and have come to see me from way across town. Its for this that i am most thankful. I think I have spent more time talking to my friends in the past 24 days than i have done in the entire past year. I have had friends call me from California and Canada and the well wishes just keep pouring in. The virtual world has been fun too and my cyber buddies are so much fun to connect with. I am so thankful for the funny comments and messages. Discovering friends whom I long took for granted and the love and affection we share is what makes this broken limb seem ok now.

the broken limb

I've been thinking for the past 24 days. There's not much else to do actually. thinking, feeling, venting and yes spending most of my time on my big behind since i cannot use my right leg for a few more weeks. I took a nasty fall on the 1st of June 2011, on a hot hot hot Wednesday afternoon. I was poised to make a huge change, i was looking forward to many new plans, and was conjuring up mental images of what was ahead when all of a sudden i slipped off the road divider, bang into on coming traffic and crack..broke my right ankle bone to smithereens.
The poor bone could hardly withstand this big girl's fall. It broke onto 3. I asked for help but Delhi's milk of human kindness refused to flow and i was helpless and hurt and a spectacle in the middle of the dirty dusty street. People stared from across the road. I saw a many a curious eye taking in the fun of watching the fat girl fall but no one came to help a fellow human being a few kilos here or there.
I dragged myself and my swollen leg across, dodging the traffic, tried to stop the rising panic and the gnawing bone and propelled myself to an auto to somehow make it to my car. I had to request the auto driver to support me while i made it to my car and only once inside did i allow myself to cry and wallow at my ordeal.
Its strange how things unfold and how they look in hindsight. The first reaction in my moment of crisis was to call my mommy. I howled while i called her and told her that i thought i had broken my leg. I called my father too crying, needing my daddy more than i ever did before. while i waited for my father to rush to my assistance, all I could think of was calling my husband in distant Montreal, across the seas, and time zones, blissfully asleep at 5.30am. I just wanted his comfort and it did not even cross my mind that I was worrying him sick out of his mind and leaving him feeling helpless from so far away. I just wanted his reassurance..just wanted him to tell me that things will be fine and that he loved me....
Daddy came real soon, husband spent those frantic minutes reassuring me, mother and daughter at home were worried sick and my leg went numb from all the action.
I think back to what i did, how my reactions were and how the scenario unfolded now with a twist of a smile, but when i was in my moment of crisis i was so thankful to have loved ones to fall back on.