And with the day's sunset, Tia turns seven. In the blink of an eye, 7 years of motherhood, pure joy, heart wrenching emotions and hope. She's just on the threshold. Wants to let go of my hand, yet keeps looking over her shoulder to see if I'm there. She's no longer a baby, no more a child. She's my best friend, my comfort in a far and distant land. She's the one who teaches me, tests me, questions me and inspires me. I still hold her as her eyelids get heavy. I still inhale her fragrance. I still kiss the boo boos and the bruises and read her to sleep. The difference is that now, seven years later, I do it for me.
One moment she is a tousled hair, pink cheeked and scraped kneed monkey, the other she is an exotic princess from the land of milk and spice. She dreams in French and speaks Bangla like me. Loves Hindi music and Katy Perry. Watches Frozen for the umpteenth time and sings her heart out when she thinks no one is about. She loves sushi, wants to speak Spanish and sit on the beach somewhere sipping lemonade with an umbrella on it. An artist she is as her talent is growing, her keen observation showing in every squiggle and shape she draws.
She's kind and sensitive, she holds doors open for everyone around her. She rushes to share every big and small achievement with her nana and namma, and uses tech effortlessly to connect with her baby cousin in Singapore. She lends a helping hand whenever she can and loves to play the big sister to all the kids she knows. She's a fantastic swimmer, is great at Math and has a keen mind. Each day, I see her turning into this beautiful, smart and sensitive human being, full of compassion, observation and spirit. She likes to be independent too, likes to try things out before making up her mind about it. She likes to skip ahead of the crowd. I try to hold her hand but she likes to move forward with confidence and ability.
My heart fills with pride when I hear her teachers praise her presence, her personality and her kindness. I try to believe that I had something to do with it, but I know in my heart that's it's all her.
Lately our battle lines are getting darker. Our arguments seem to be getting longer and obstinate. She's testing the waters now for the future years. I try oscillating between being a friend and an authority figure and find myself really struggling at both sometimes. Many a times, I snap, I falter, I slip up and I make mistakes. I tell her that mom is human too. It's ok to mess up sometimes. I hope she understands and will not judge me as harshly as I judge myself.
Seven is the time for friendships to form, for spirits to rise, for dreams to take shape and make a path towards the future. It's the time for carefree days in the sun, playing in the water fountains, dripping strawberry ice creams cones, swinging high on the swings and really feeling the wind in your hair. It's the time to build snowmen, sand castles and still believe in Santa Clause. It's the time to be fascinated with science, find a sport to enjoy and dabble in music and art. It's the time to be a big girl and learn about chores and responsibility too. I want to push her forward towards new and exciting adventures yet want her wonder and innocence to stay untouched forever.
Tomorrow morning, she will run off to join her friends in the school yard. I'll yell and tell her that I love her, but she will be busy talking to her friends. I'll rush home early to hear how her day went and spend an extra 15 mins of mommy time with her, but she will have her mind full of so many different things. The brand new shiny scooter waits for her to take it for a spin and when she wakes up in the morning to find balloons and streamers filling the house, she will be my precious little 7 year old all over again.
One moment she is a tousled hair, pink cheeked and scraped kneed monkey, the other she is an exotic princess from the land of milk and spice. She dreams in French and speaks Bangla like me. Loves Hindi music and Katy Perry. Watches Frozen for the umpteenth time and sings her heart out when she thinks no one is about. She loves sushi, wants to speak Spanish and sit on the beach somewhere sipping lemonade with an umbrella on it. An artist she is as her talent is growing, her keen observation showing in every squiggle and shape she draws.
She's kind and sensitive, she holds doors open for everyone around her. She rushes to share every big and small achievement with her nana and namma, and uses tech effortlessly to connect with her baby cousin in Singapore. She lends a helping hand whenever she can and loves to play the big sister to all the kids she knows. She's a fantastic swimmer, is great at Math and has a keen mind. Each day, I see her turning into this beautiful, smart and sensitive human being, full of compassion, observation and spirit. She likes to be independent too, likes to try things out before making up her mind about it. She likes to skip ahead of the crowd. I try to hold her hand but she likes to move forward with confidence and ability.
My heart fills with pride when I hear her teachers praise her presence, her personality and her kindness. I try to believe that I had something to do with it, but I know in my heart that's it's all her.
Lately our battle lines are getting darker. Our arguments seem to be getting longer and obstinate. She's testing the waters now for the future years. I try oscillating between being a friend and an authority figure and find myself really struggling at both sometimes. Many a times, I snap, I falter, I slip up and I make mistakes. I tell her that mom is human too. It's ok to mess up sometimes. I hope she understands and will not judge me as harshly as I judge myself.
Seven is the time for friendships to form, for spirits to rise, for dreams to take shape and make a path towards the future. It's the time for carefree days in the sun, playing in the water fountains, dripping strawberry ice creams cones, swinging high on the swings and really feeling the wind in your hair. It's the time to build snowmen, sand castles and still believe in Santa Clause. It's the time to be fascinated with science, find a sport to enjoy and dabble in music and art. It's the time to be a big girl and learn about chores and responsibility too. I want to push her forward towards new and exciting adventures yet want her wonder and innocence to stay untouched forever.
Tomorrow morning, she will run off to join her friends in the school yard. I'll yell and tell her that I love her, but she will be busy talking to her friends. I'll rush home early to hear how her day went and spend an extra 15 mins of mommy time with her, but she will have her mind full of so many different things. The brand new shiny scooter waits for her to take it for a spin and when she wakes up in the morning to find balloons and streamers filling the house, she will be my precious little 7 year old all over again.
